So I guess my real rule is "I may have casual sex with men with whom I once was in relationship if I still feel respect and/or affection and attraction towards them enough to make the interaction enjoyable for me." However, if you cheated on my *ss don't be calling me drunk at 2:00 in the morning unless you enjoy having a phone slammed in your ear and if you were mean and withholding about sex for the 19 freakin' years I was married to you don't call me up after we're separated and tell me I looked hot when you saw me in the grocery store unless you enjoy hearing weary cynical laughter on the other end of the line.
I think this is key. For men, the general rule is: Sex is better than no sex. And if they feel like sex and there's ex-gf and they had hot sex with her before why not call her up? Which is fine imo if they didn't break her heart, in which case they qualify as jerks. If not, it needs to be evalutated on a case-by-case basis, with one overriding determining factor: what do YOU want? *s*
For men, the general rule is: Sex is better than no sex.
Come on SG. Haven't you paid attention to what the guys here have been saying? The guys here on this forum have argued that this stereotype is what causes such a problem for them in their relationships...
Anyway... back to the booty call discussion.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
As long as there is no dam 'cow' in the mix... I know you will figure this out... and the reason I think you are even mulling this out is because you are being NOT a cow... rather than just BEING a swan.
What does the swan have to say about all this?
So true. Well, the swan still has immature pin-feathers and is having some difficulty using her intuition in regards the quality of the man-log of NG since the dang monkey already dumped kerosene all over him, stuck in some fireworks and threw on a match without any regard for her buddy bunny, as usual. Now, as you may recall, NG himself, almost certainly because he is more mature than the bunkey, once suggested a "no-sex" date. So, bearing in mind that it is my choice whether to let my monkey or my swan or neither out of the cage at the moment, that might be a good option. OTOH, one has to wonder if it's worth hitting the re-set button on such a proto-relationship. OTOH, I probably shouldn't even be dating anyone but what the f*ck else am I going to do?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
For men, the general rule is: Sex is better than no sex. Come on SG. Haven't you paid attention to what the guys here have been saying? The guys here on this forum have argued that this stereotype is what causes such a problem for them in their relationships...
I don't have time to read every post in this very active forum, so no, I didn't see that particular discussion. However, I stand by what I said. Perhaps I wasn't clear: I was refering to single, unattached guys in the dating scene. Obviously it becomes a whole different animal in a committed relationship.
Actually the guys here have said it over and over and not just on one thread.
And actually in my opinion while I know it isn't true for all men, I do believe that many men think any sex IS better then no sex. I just have no idea of the actual break down of percentage.
And you raise a great point that I would like to hear Cemar, CAC4, Chrome, Imconfused, Martelo, Crazy Eddie, Cobra, Hdog, etc. answer. Since these guys, along with others I haven't named, have called me out before for making similar comments, I wonder if they agree that any sex is better than no sex when you are single but that feeling changes when you are married??? And if it does change, why???
ETA: Actually Souther girl since you said "obviously" it changes why does is "obviously" change?? This is a sincere question because I don't understand why it changes and so I especially don't understand why it is obvious!!
Last edited by fearless; 09/11/0706:11 PM.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
I was refering to single, unattached guys in the dating scene. Obviously it becomes a whole different animal in a committed relationship.
Hmmm...I really don't think it's that different. Whether the guy is single or M, I think it is still a matter of self-respect to just have sex for sex. Who really likes that unless they have some serious issues with themselves and relationships in general? Maybe "like" isn't the right word there. More like "healthy" or even "a good idea."
Well. I think we have stumbled upon the REAL issue here.
How to BE a swan. Well... you certainly won't learn how to BE a swan by keeping her locked up in the cage....
And I, personally, have a gut feeling that you told NG you owned a cow, a monkey, a lionness and a bunny. And NG, being kind smart... did not see the cow for a cow... he saw a swan... and I think he's kinda curious about that swan... since he's already met the monkey, the lionness and the bunny...
And I think, too, that he might be wondering if you are trying to pull his leg in calling the cow a swan... or if you realize you were a bit confused... and didn't actually know you had a swan instead of a cow...
Most interesting. I think I might really like this NG guy.
Come now... go back to that description you gave to me of the swan... you were so excited too... "Oh! The Swan GETS TO BE...."
Think about that... and then tell me what The Swan might say about all this... you can do it.
And you raise a great point that I would like to hear Cemar, CAC4, Chrome, Imconfused, Martelo, Crazy Eddie, Cobra, Hdog, etc. answer. Since these guys, along with others I haven't named, have called me out before for making similar comments, I wonder if they agree that any sex is better than no sex when you are single but that feeling changes when you are married??? And if it does change, why???
I can't speak for the others, but for me, sex when single was pretty much just about the sex. So yes, any sex was better than none.
This changes as the relationship grows. It goes from being just the physical act of sex into more of an emotional show of affection and love. I could go out and have all the sex I could handle, but if it's not with my wife then it's unfulfilling. It's just that, it's sex and nothing more.
And I think, too, that he might be wondering if you are trying to pull his leg in calling the cow a swan... or if you realize you were a bit confused... and didn't actually know you had a swan instead of a cow...
Fuhck. I'm getting the animals mixed up myself. Let me restate:
I think NG might be wondering if you are trying to pull his leg in calling the SWAN a cow... or if you DIDN'T realize you were a bit confused... and didn't actually know you had a swan instead of a cow...
Well... you certainly won't learn how to BE a swan by keeping her locked up in the cage.... 