Yesterday I woke up and felt pretty good. I have begun to regroup and rethink what is occurring. The routine I have set up for myself: prayer, a reading from daily meditation book, a positive affirmation, stretching/10 minutes of exercise, seeing my teenagers off to school, planning my day, etc. is really working to get my mind off H and onto me and what is important. I have planned things to do for next 3 weekends (with kids or friends) and will participate in a "cancer" walk next month.
It has sunk in that H is in anger/defense mode and whatever I say won't matter anyway. He has to deal or not deal with his own problems; I believe H needs time to walk his own path.
It has finally dawned on me that I don't want to have negativity in my mind or life and I don't want a reconciliation, just to have him back. I won't accept the same treatment and will work on restoring our marriage by restoring myself.
I will remain positive because it helps me enjoy life. I'll continue to pray for him and let the rest go. Life really is short and I need to focus on enjoying the present, not worrying about the past or future. When next week comes I'll see how I feel about the whole matter.
The task ahead of you is never as great as the Power behind you ~ unknown
