Chat with OPs spouse?

[lester]

I know this seems to be against what everyone here thinks. But just about every other site seems to encourage talking to the other person's spouse about what's going on. It helps to remove secrecy of the A but is also likely to anger WS and probably OP.

From what I know of her she seems like a good person who is being majorly mistreated not only by the A but in general. He gives her an "allowance" and spends most of the time doing whatever he wants.

I don't know if this is a good idea or not; but just like I have a right to make decision on what to do with my M doesn't she? I don't know it's been bothering me. I'd be lying to say that I was purely altruistic but this suggestion keeps popping up on other sites.

Anyone talk to OPs spouse? Did it help/make worse/no difference? How did OP spouse and others react?