There and Back, #5

[nephartiti]

Thanks again SOTS for putting things into perspective.

We do have a right to feel bad. These situations are horrible.

A lot of us have the same feeling of being cheapened and made to be second rate. Thanks for reminding us we don't have to feel this way.

"and I guess there is a part of me that hopes if H does want back into my life, back into our marriage, that he will show me at least the effort he put into saving his affair with her. but maybe it won't be like that, if it does happen, maybe it will be different.

Expectations are killer. From observing many situations here, my instinct is that this doesn't happen often. It's usually that the returning partner feels justified and wants to know why the one cheated upon can't put things behind them, get over it and move on."

This is the part that scares the crap out of me. Like Morgan, one of the big things I need to see is at least a little remorse and accountablility for the damage done by the affair. How does one get past this if the returning spouse feels "justified"?