And what I meant with the beating metaphor was simply about the personalization aspect. I just don't think it's realistic to expect that being repeatedly ranted at, threatened, whatever will have no negative effect on the person on the receiving end .... even if they *do* realize it's "not about them". To the extent that they're the ones wiping the venomous spittle off their face, it *is* about them. It would be wonderful if one could develop an impervious spit-shield of compassion ... but I don't think that's reachable for most of us. Or maybe just me.
I understand what you are saying here... but what immediately comes to my mind is... why are you still standing there taking it? The most compassionate thing you could do for the person in this instance is walk away or leave.
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Compassion and differentiation ... that's a tricky one. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole diffy thing. Gut response: Compassion with differentiation means you want to ease the pain of the person you love, for *their* sake and happiness. Compassion with fusion means you desperately *need* to ease the pain of the person you love so *you* don't have to feel it.
Wanting to ease someone's pain does not necessarily mean you 'do it' for them. It could mean you stop your own behaviors that enable the other person to avoid their responsibility to heal. I'm thinking of alcoholics and enabling friends/family/spouse...
I think compassion with differentiation... is compassion with conscious awareness of my chit/your chit.
I think compassion while fused... is probably cleverly disguised manipulation... at least at first.
Compassion on its own... I think of Mother Theresa. I'm not sure why it matters if there IS a dif.
