Just a quick post, as it's opening day for the NFL and I'm sore as hell from moving yesterday.
Got mostly moved in. Still a few things left to bring to my new apartment. Will be spending my first night there next Friday. No bed for my girls or I'd be there this week.
Oh, finally got my TV. It's gorgeous. Looking forward to nothing but football on it next Sunday.
Happy Sunday, everyone.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Been on a little vacay from here to clear my head. I was in a real funk and being very negative.
Anyway...got to laugh at your Brandy reference...thats one of my favorite drunken karaoke songs, along with Harper Valley PTA and Delta Dawn. Yeah its a real sight. Considering that I do not sing well.
Anyway hope the furniture shopping is coming along. My place is pretty much furnished. My dear neighbor from my parents house cleaned out his garage and came over with my brother with a truck load of stuff.
Glad to hear you got some contact from the W...bra and everything...I am impressed At least all of you on here enjoy that stuff. I am usually met with a disgusted grunt and a "can you put some clothes on" comment. H is also disgusted that my daughter seems to have picked up my fondness for being sans clothes...hee hee hee.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Hey folks, thanks for checking in. Like WAW, took a mini-break to clear my head and focus on moving my stuff.
CVA, went with the 42 inch samsung plasma. 720. Almost went a little crazy and got the 50 inch, mercifully, was out of stock. Looking forward to getting my cable hooked up and moving in totally.
I am looking forward to moving out, but it does suck. I've done pretty good on the PMA around her. Have been a little short, but more from being tired than anything else -- it was HOT on Saturday. Puddle, yeah, my calves are slamming Two of my friends helped me move, one of 'em even commented (we've known each other since college -- actually met my W in his dorm room, so he knows what I used to look like. Good to be noticed, even by a dude )
Girls are doing OK. My oldest is maturing and naturally has a temper, well, I love my child, but she can be a bit of a bitch. So, between hormones, just her being her, and the move; we're trying to figure out if she's really being affected by this alot or if it's just her being her. Giving them both extra TLC regardless.
Nothing much on the R front. She's said a few things: 1. Again, the space will be good for us. 2. I need to be away from you for a while (I feel the same) 3. Asked a stupid question, could we go on a date in two months or so. She actually said I don't know. Three months ago it would have been an unequivical no, so I think that's progress. Stupid thing to say though. 4. Said she's living day to day and not really thinking about the future. 5. Had been sleeping on a mattress. She suggested that I sleep in the bed with her on Sunday (our pull out couch is no longer comfy). I got a little freaked out -- am I going to roll over and snuggle, if i'm that close am I going to make a move on her in my sleep (something that used to happen from both of us; figured that was the last thing we needed), and generally twitchy about it. Was compounded by two earlier things that got my PMA down. First, we had brought some stuff to my apt Sunday evening. The girls wanted to see the TV and I had some boxes. We were in the girls' room and she was making a reasonable suggestion about splitting the closet. I just kind of dismissed her out of hand. Realized immediately what I had said and the way I said it and apologized. I have realized how often I've done that over the years (not intended maliciously, just the way I say things sometimes comes off bad). Just said I'm sorry for doing that to you over the years. Funny, the one person who's opinion I want, I cut off from giving them to me. So that had me feeling like crap. Then, I had washed some clothes for myself, along with a few of hers. I thought I had taken her fragile stuff out. I hadn't. So she was upset. Didn't get angry, but just kind of cried that I messed up her cloths. Started a downward spiral for me of feeling like the one person that I want to get close to I've pushed away. Ended up drinking and snored that night in bed and kept her awake. Should have just slept on the couch.
I did thank her for asking me to sleep there with her. Told her I know that was hard for her and I appreciated the trust. Told her how I had felt and she acted surprised that I would feel that way about sleeping next to her, but understood, I think. Doing the CVA this week -- air mattress (which is pretty comfy).
She asked me this morning to split the 401ks. Which I'm fine with (mine was more and she originally said keep it). Before I got into packing, I had started thinking that I wanted to change that because I felt like I was just stealing 20k from her. I told her late last week that I was thinking of just giving her a greater percentage of the house sale to balance that out.
Anyway, that's my world at the moment. A few last things left to move, and I'm sure I'll have forgotten something, but I'll be in the apartment with the girls Friday night. Depending on how they feel, might keep them Saturday as well (this is my week and weekend with them). Wife and I talked an agreed to play that by ear.
Delia, football is not "ick"
WAW, bring back the boob shirts. Who cares what your H thinks. Really disgust him -- join your D in running nude around the house. Must be that age, my girls loved to run around naked.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
"we're trying to figure out if she's really being affected by this alot"
Complete no brainer. Yes, she is being affected alot. She is very hurt, very deeply. No puzzle there.
"I did thank her for asking me to sleep there with her. Told her I know that was hard for her and I appreciated the trust. Told her how I had felt and she acted surprised that I would feel that way about sleeping next to her, but understood, I think."
Cut out everything but the last bit -- fine, report your feelings.
But, to thank her for the invite is going too far. Imagine a woman *thanking you* for letting her sleep in your bed. And it is probably not very often a good idea to tell someone else you know things that are going on inside their head...a bit arrogant...
Don't ask W out until you can ask her without worrying if it is OK to ask her. Ugghhh.
Yeah, I know they're hurting. I see it. Not one of my more astute observations, eh?
I phrased that badly, I more thanked her than anything and used the word 'imagined' or something like that rather than saying "You think this" to try to avoid that arrogance you mention.
Doesn't feel like my bed or house any longer. Were we to get back together, the bed would have to go. After all, she did f*ck OM in it.
Yeah, asking her out was pretty dumb. It was a more positive response that I thought I'd get as the words tumbled from my mouth though. Who knows. Ready to get out and focus on me for a while though.
Feeling good, but limbo of living her but not is wearing on me.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
At least all of you on here enjoy that stuff. I am usually met with a disgusted grunt and a "can you put some clothes on" comment. H is also disgusted that my daughter seems to have picked up my fondness for being sans clothes...hee hee hee.
Two of my friends helped me move, one of 'em even commented (we've known each other since college -- actually met my W in his dorm room, so he knows what I used to look like. Good to be noticed, even by a dude