There and Back, #5

[nephartiti]

Yes!

I am right here with you, ladies, on all accounts. Isn't it amazing how all these things co-exist within us at any given moment? How we can flip from one to the other so quickly? If we could just hold steady to this feeling of well being and thankfulness. If we could just be that lighthouse without faltering, it wouldn't matter what we were going through. Life would just be. We'd take the good with joy and let the bad go without fear of reliving it.

There is this movie What the Bleep do we Know. It discusses quantum physics and the nuerochemistry of our brain and body cells. Two main things come to mind.

1. When we experience something, the nuerons in our brains take a distinct trail creating memory and the chemical reactions/emotions associated with it. Within this trail are all the minute details of the situation. Any reminder of any detail along this trail will take us right there, right back to the original experience. Here's the kicker. The body does not know the difference between the experience of the original situatin and the experience of memory. Every time we replay in our mind or similar situation, our bodies literally re-live it as if it was happening again. To further complicate, each time the trail becomes strengthened and reinforced, the pattern that goes with it becomes harder and harder to change. Hence, we react the same way to a word or look or environment without even thinking; we get into patterns with our relationships. The DB principle of doing something different is, in effect, breaking this neurochemical chain and allowing for re-structuring. It takes a conscious effort, but can be done. The other techniques like thought stopping and acting "as if" also go along this idea. There are many things we cannot control, but we can control what we choose to focus on.
2. There is an experiment that is sited in the movie by, I believe, a Japanese man. I'm sorry I can't remember the details, but this is the gist. He takes bottles of water. On each bottle he writes a different word like "hate" "love" "forgiveness" etc. He then examines the molecules, after some time has passed. The energy of these words literally alters the structure of the H2O molecule! Now, take into account that we are mostly water! This demonstrates ideas like the mind body connection, mass consciousness, and self-fullfilling prophesies! By focusing on the positive, we set our intention to the positive. By doing this, we set ourselves up for success. We thereby open ourselves to other possibilities of what success is because we realize we will be content and can choose joy regardless of our circumstances. This supports the DB principle that these techniques are really for us. It may not lead to reconciliation with our spouses, but it will lead to us being whole.

Can we move on with our spouses after being rejected and cheapened? If they come back, it is because they realize that we are not second. Hopefully it is a lesson thoroughly learned. If this happens, then it is up to us to decide if we are willing to forgive. I think we already know where we stand on this, or we wouldn't be here.

Stay positive everyone. Keep finding beauty in your lives. We are amazing women who deserve the very best spouses. We married our spouses b/c we believed them to be these men. We can choose to support the men we love without supporting the behavior they are displaying. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Stay strong. Stay in love.