He is just nuts........

[bambam1970]

Is this really my life????

On Sunday one of my boys started talking w/me about H. Ross told me that a boy told him at recess that H was dating this boy's aunt or something similar. Ross said he didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me. Told me also that baseball mom's son told him H was dating his mom. WTF??????????


So, I called H. Yes, probably dumb, but did it anyway. Was calm. Just shared w/him this info and told him that I wanted him to know b/c he couldn't do anything about it if he didn't know. He said he had NO IDEA who the aunt was and seemed just shocked that someone would say something like that about him. So I said, are you seeing anyone? And he said "Well, I guess kind of "baseball mom".

OK>.................he's SHOCKED that someone would assume he is dating this aunt, but he is seeing baseball mom. I just said "You told me you would wait until D was final so the kids wouldn't have to hear this stuff". H sais "I'm not dating her. I don't take her in public or have her around my kids. She just comes over." To which I replied "BUt you cannot control what SHE tells people and she IS telling them you are dating which went directly to our boys at school on the playground"

I said some things like "As far as we are concerned, it is over. I'm not concerned w/you personal life UNLESS if affects our kids. Than I must do something." He tried the whole "Fine..I'm the bad guy. I'll take all the blame...blah blah blah". I said "If you would step outside your box for 1 second you would see the life you've created for yourself, me and the kids." He said "I SEE IT EVERTIME I PULL IN MY DRIVEWAY OR AT YOUR NEW HOUSE! I SEE WHAT I'VE DONE" .

I said "We can deal w/that life now b/c it is what it is. But until you take some responsibility for your actions, things will not be good for you and our children".

So, he talked to the boys. The boys told me he said he had made a mistake "talking" to baseball mom and would now wait until after D was final and give it more time before he decides if she is who he wants to be with. Told them he has made some very bad choices and, if he could go back, he would change things.

Ross and i had a long talk about how H is a great person even tho he is making some bad choices. Ross said "Seeing baseball mom when he is still married is something he could have chosen not to do." I said "yes it is. But, we cannot control what dad chooses only what we choose".

It was yucky. I told H that I feel completely alone in trying to lead our kids w/security and show them responsibility.

Sometimes I get tired of being the strong, responsible one.

And, something kind of funny. I had heard that OW#1 had been seeing one of H's co-workers who was also his best friend these past few years. So, when talking to him he told me lots of rumors were floating around and to be prepared. So, I said "Well, clear one up for me. Is OW#1 seeing another co-worker?" He acted ignorant "Seeing one of them. You mean dating?" I said "Ok...is she sleeping w/one of them" and he said "Yes....Matt."

I'm pretty sure I heard him fall off his chair when I asked the question. So, I said "Wow. How'd that make you feel?" and he said "It's life. You live and learn."

I said, "Yep. That's right."

So, I feel some satisfaction that OW#1 (who left her family telling everyone she was in love with my H) dumped H. Is that mean? I think he felt some (on a very smaller level) feelings of betrayal and humiliation. Is it wrong to be somewhat happy about that?

So...I've rambled. Been a long weekend. Tough on my babies. Tough on me. But, we got out of bed this AM and lived another day! I'm proud of us!