But, I am functioning much better than over the summer. Had another great day at work. I really like my student teacher--she is naturally good with the kids, and works very hard, always asks what she should work on to be ready for the next day. And I can't tell you how good it is to be with all of those kids. I have been in the one building for 8 years, now, and I have seen these huge 5th graders grow up in front of my eyes since they were 4 and falling asleep in Kindergarten class. I am so blessed to be working at a job that is so fulfilling.
I got back in touch with a colleague (I was hurt back in Feb and all assumed that I went quiet on them because of the surgery/pain). In Jan, her boyfriend of 8 years told her he had some bad news for her one night--he was leaving for Japan (for a year) to teach in a month, and he didn't want to stay together! Now, he calls or emails, grilling her on who and where she goes out. Another alien abduction.
We are making plans for this weekend, since H will have the kids again. Wings, maybe catch up with other teacher friends, karaoke, dancing; we'll see. She isn't 30 yet, so it should be a fun crowd. And I can still pass for 25 ;0)
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Is it detrimental to get on with my life without him, while still believing in my heart that we belong together? That this can't be the end? I won't continually share this message with him anymore (I am positive that he knows where I am in all this).
It's like living in a world with no color, no music. Yes, I can live it, but the most beautiful parts of life seem to be missing. I get short bursts every now and then (mostly from my children), but then right back to blah.
