There and Back, #5

[SallyM]

thanks for the solidarity, lwb. I sometimes wonder if I get into these funks to try to hold myself back. its just so hard sometimes.

but I'm going to keep on keepin' on. its all I can do. and I guess there is a part of me that hopes if H does want back into my life, back into our marriage, that he will show me at least the effort he put into saving his affair with her. but maybe it won't be like that, if it does happen, maybe it will be different. but somehow seeing how little effort it takes for me to hope, to want him, it just makes me feel...cheap.

thanks for the wishes for tomorrow. its a big day, and I'm a little worried about S3 and how he'll do. fingers crossed all will be okay.

my house is coming along. Its a work in progress. get lots of inspiration from just being in new england (wow, is this place the place to be in autumn!). used to love browsing thru Martha stuff and pottery barn stuff. go forth and decorate, and have fun with it. nice to exercise a little creativity. and I find it good to do in light of my current situation, kind of like re-arranging furniture or organizing everything.

when all else fails, just add candles. lol. pictures of the kids in fall scenes and candles on your mantel can be a simple, pretty way to seasonalize your home.

speaking of candles, I think I am the only woman in america who hates scented candles, so all of mine are unscented. what's funny is H LOVES scented candles, so I envision he and OW in their home together surrounded by chem-scents wafting thru the air off of candles. h, sprawled out, saying, finaally! lol.