I'm just drained. It seems like I have become a live-in spiritual guru, trainer, motivator, therapist, and court jester, plastic model husband. Everything except for a lover. I make hot lunches for her breaks at work and bring them, and she says she loves me coming and looks forward to that as the highlight of her day (she works evening shift). Do I need to ease back on these everyday expected visits and nice-ities, making dinner, massages, etc?
Why are you going these things? This is not an attacking question.
Because you want to and you think this is what it takes for you to consider yourself a good husband?
Because you think you should and this is what it takes to make your wife love/desire you?
Is your wife willing to go to therapy?
Have the two of you ever discussed this? And if so, what was her reaction both words and follow through (or lack of)?
The reality is that you are over your head. And your marriage needs help. The question is whether or not you AND your wife are willing to pursue that help.
