The last part, I don't understand you at all. To ignore the deleterious effects of reenacting past hurts in the current relationship strikes me as delusional.
It more than likely is... and logically considering delusion is an oxymoron. You can't see what you can't see. To blame a blind man for not having the ability to see is as delusional in and of itself.
Compassion allows you to recognize that another can't see. And perhaps help them learn Braille.
