Tucson or Bust, part 3

[Kettricken]

I agree with everything you guys are saying. I think.

Perhaps it's a bit of a knee-jerk response on my part. I have been around people who get absolutely *mired down* in all the reasons why they had the worst childhood ever and how could anyone ever expect them to behave better than they are. By which I mean, like kind compassionate supportive human beings themselves. That victim philosophy just skeeves me out, so yeah, I'm sensitive to it. And I guess I have a hard time wrapping my head around "not personalizing". I mean, I do see the point. The emotions they're acting out didn't originate with *me*, so I should just let it go and not take it as a reflection on me. On the other hand ... they *are* up in my face treating me badly. So I think it's important to acknowledge that, to the degree someone is continuing to act out emotions toward someone else, they are *making* it about that person in current reality. If you beat the crap out of me because your father beat you, it's not about me, but I'm still just as bloody .... If that makes any sense....

That said, yes. I am right now in the middle of a serious example of how childhood hurts have impacted my own marriage. This is a good thing, but it does show how you can't just sweep that stuff under the rug; it festers....

Dunno. None of this is easy.