No blasting coming from here, AmyC. I was just trying to think of ways to try to keep this from being a resentment buiding exercise, which I know might not be possible. I agree that he isn't doing what he should, the only thing I would say is that the reason isn't personal, it's that he doesn't have a clue how, so he's messing it up greatly. And at some level he probably feels guilt for the situation, and he thinks he SHOULD know what to do and how to do it, and he doesn't want to admit he doesn't (the good old pride thing), so he does what he knows. And it doesn't work. And it could very well be that the course you've plotted out is the best way to make things work.
Anyway, what I was trying to stew on was if there was any way to diffuse the resentment and bitterness. There's plenty of that in my house, and I know it is a poison. I just haven't figured out how to deal with it. So if I could somehow come up with any useful suggestions for you, maybe I could look in the mirror and use them on myself.
Enough, for now. I'll get out a 2x4 when you go nutty, but that's not happening now!
