I don't usually say this but I have on occasion and only for newly wed couples without children.... This marriage may be in too deep a hole to climb out of. If you were my son I would advise you to annul the marriage or D, then get into counseling. If she will go too then all the better. Spend a year or two working things out and if they get better, then remarry.
If you two have kids, you will be facing a nightmare like you have no idea. And the damage will fall most heavily on the kids. Get out now.
Now if you choose not to heed that advice, then prepare for a lot of hard work.
