Hey LL. I understand how you feel about getting back into the same old patterns. I certainly have a fear of this as well. But you know, your H may be confused because you've told him you've wanted him to be more intimate. Now that he's trying, I hope that he won't perceive your distance as rejection...as you have felt yourself in the past (and present). In a healthy M, and I do mean healthy, sex is important. It's also something you want from him.
Do you feel that there has been a shift lately that is different than before? Do you think that having sex with him will really decide whether he's going to go to C or continue to open up to you? It's the whole package, I think, sex just being one of many things.
It's interesting, and I don't know if you've felt this way always, or what, but the last few days you've mentioned wanting him to cuddle and snuggle, hug and kiss without it having to lead somewhere. You want to be intimate without it having to eventually be sexual. Previously, it seemed you've talked about what a libido you seem to have and wish that he'd just make a move...that you feel rejected when you put forth the effort and he didn't want to.
Well, now he's putting forth the effort to have sex. Why this change of heart? Is it possible that now that you've achieved your goal of him pursuing you a bit more, that you've now moved onto the next goal of being able to find intimacy with him through other means? I think maybe you shouldn't overlook the fact that it really does seem to be that he's trying...
