Thinking of you and sending you and your family my thoughts.
I am proud of you for being a great mom, even if it doesn't feel like the outcome speaks to that.
Great moms step up and save their kids from disaster even if it means they lose much in the process. Great parents face their kids, even if it means their kids hate them. Great parents care about what happens to their kids - that they become well-rounded, responsible, accountable, respectable, healthy strong adults.
I know this b/c my parents are the same way, and I thank God each day for that. Even when my M fell apart, the first thing they said was "what did YOU did in this." Not one day did they let me wallow in my pity, reminding me of all I had and should be achieving. They reminded me each day of my potential, and how the biggest sin was to waste that, and how I owed them and myself nothing less than the best.
If you wonder what the ramifications of being the "nice & easy" parent is....let me describe my H's parents. They sit in fear of ever being blamed for his actions or his brothers. They will help their kids point the finger of blame in every direction but to them or their kids. They enable them to feel like victims of their own actions. My H is falling apart and they won't do a thing, as long as he is not comign to them for help or blaming them. They don't care what he turns out like, or to help him. It's too tough to face their own transgressions, and he's not worth it to them. To me, that is abuse.
