My H had an A that went on for 18 months. After he told me about the A we had a week of hell when everything was up in the air and he couldn't decide what to do. I decided instantly to ML with him. He was a bit cautious to begin with but soon forgot that. We had had a conversation about protection etc before we ML because I had been alarmed as during the A he had been sleeping with OW and me. He promised that he had used protection with OW and I believed him. Part of it I guess was that I wanted to remind him of what he would be losing, part of it was I wanted that closeness and intimacy, part of it was I wanted to put my 'mark' back on him, and part of it was I wanted to tell that HO of a OW that we had ML (just in case she was working on the assumption that he wasn't ML with me anymore). Well it worked. She was gone by the end of the week. Although she maintained it nmade no difference to her that we had ML, the speed with which she contacted my H after I let her H know that my H and I had made L was literally minutes. My H had told me immediately after ML that the sexual side of things with OW wasn't nearly as good as with me. Hah!!!( infact it was absolutely awful).
I wanted to ML with him and I made sure it worked to my advantage. I was lucky in that it never got to the stage where my H left home.
If you want to ML with your H and it doesn't work to your disadvantage then why not? ASLONG AS YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. If it becomes apparent that he is just cake eating and making the best/ enjoying the current situation then stop ML or if it upsets you then stop. But if you want to then why the hell not. He is your H not that b!tch OW's. You do what you feel happy with.
That's just my opinion. I an 16 months post bomb with my H and four kids. My H is more attentive than ever.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
