I've been struggling with the fact that my H and the OW are moving their stuff into the house in my neighborhood. A marriage ministry I trust told me today that the only way to restore our marriage is for him to break things off completely w/OW, and for the two of us (and our son) to move as far away as possible. I honestly don't see that happening.
I'm extremely discouraged. Although my H has said *I love you* to me recently (a lot better than *ILYBINILWY* of just a few months ago), and wants us to go on a field trip with our son next year, I have to keep reminding myself that he chose to live with this woman. We ML last week, and his sentiments downgraded from *ILY* to *well, I still have... um, feelings... for you...*
I will hang in there as long as I can while I maintain a PMA, continue the 180, and not let my emotions show, but I'm losing a lot of hope that our marriage will survive this crisis.
I'm approaching this like he's a drug addict, alcoholic, etc. -- someone who is *addicted* to another person. The only way he'll ever get better is if HE is willing to make these changes.
I'm gradually making an emotional detachment from my H, my so-called friends, and my community. I just want to put this embarrassment behind me, and move on -- with or without him.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
First of all, young lady, what on EARTH are you embarrased about??? Head held high!!! You are the better person here. Don't lose faith just yet. No need for a timeline, right?
During the separation sometimes my husband would be very close to me and other times extremely distant. I think this may even be more pronounced when there is S involved because of the strong feelings it can create.
Yes, OW is like a drug. It's extremely difficult for them to cut off the relationship and I think you have a good analogy there.
To me is sounds like you are doing well and have a good outlook. And you definitely sound like a huge 5 carot diamond while she's merely a silver of glass off a cubic zirconian.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
First of all, young lady, what on EARTH are you embarrased about??? Head held high!!! You are the better person here. Don't lose faith just yet. No need for a timeline, right?
I'm embarrassed because we live in a close-knit community, and I (big mouth) told everyone I know (and even a few people I don't!) about what my H has been doing. Not because I'm trying to hurt him, but because I REALLY need a lot of emotional support and friends right now! He probably won't go back to our church (BTW, it was HIS idea to start going to that church in the first place!) again, because he knows I've been confiding in people (including our pastor).
On the other hand, you're right -- I'M not the one who did this! H is the one who got into the A and left me to pick up the wreckage. HE's the one who should be embarrassed. I'm sure most of the people in my church will forgive him for what he's doing (because that's what Christians should do), and be non-judgmental. He's not the first guy to do something like this, and everyone knows how much I've been praying for him.
If anything, when/if my H ever decides to come back to me, this might be a great miracle/testimony to share.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
