Therefore, what I would suggest is that instead of HD offering an "I'm sorry I frightened you." vibe, he should simply reflect back "When I put my hand on your breast, you felt frightened."
I don't get it. What, if anything, is this supposed to accomplish? When it seems pretty clear to me that what Ms.Hdog wants is me to apologize for what I did, how is "mirroring" going to do anything more than, probably, piss her off?
Plus, let's remember that my deepest "transgression" was not respecting her stated wish not to be touched in a sexual way while sleeping. The action may have offended her, but I actually don't feel more than just a little shameful about that. It's that she said "x is important to me. Don't do x. Okay?" and I said, "yes." Then, I did x. Disrespect. Whether or not you agree that it was wrong to touch her breast, can't we agree that it was wrong of me to disregard her stated wish? A stronger man would have said to her, "I understand that you don't want to be touched while asleep. The problem is that since you also don't want to be touched while you're awake, that means I don't get to touch you at all. That doesn't work for me. Let's see if we can work something out." I'm not there yet.
Maybe I'm missing the whole "apologizing equals taking responsibility for her feelings" thing. Apologizing, to me, means that I'm taking responsibility for something I did.
