Going back to my post. I don't think I expressed what I meant very well.
From what I'm reading, you are hurting that your husband was able to be a certain way with the other woman, and you want him to put in at least the same effort in your relationship.
What I'm trying to say, is that I suspect it's easier to put in the kind of effort with someone new. Someone with whom you don't have a history.
It's easier to become the person you want to be with someone who doesn't have a preconcieved notion of who you are.
I'm still not sure I'm explaining this clearly, so let me attempt an analogy.
Imagine someone (person A) who was clumsy when they were young. They grow up, outgrow that clumsiness and make great strides in their life.
Yet, whenever they get around a friend (person B) from their younger days, who still sees them as the clumsy adolescent they used to be, Person A become clumsy again. They can't understand why, they conquered this clumsiness years ago..but they feel locked into that role.
Perhaps that's the problem your husband is facing now? He feels locked into a certain role with you?
Does that make any sense?
Please understand I'm not trying to say you have done anything wrong, I'm just throwing out an idea that might help you!
