Quoting lostlove: but it is not that he sees himself as not being capable of doing these things in a r...it is that he sees himself not able to do these things with ME..
and I go back to:
Quoting lostlove in a previous post:
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...expressed last night and other times that he thought that was what being a good h and father was about..but is realizing it is not..he wants to be there for the kids..realizes that simply being here is not enough for them...they need interaction as do I. that even though it is enough for him to just be here it is not for them [ (sic) ... and you. ]
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I didn't mean to imply that he wasn't capable of doing the "right" things in an R, but that he is overwelmed by HIS belief that he may not have it in him to give enough back to the ones that love him so, which is what makes him feel inadaquate and undeserving of the amount of love/kindness directed towards him. Not directed just at you or OW vs. LL, but he feels this way about his children as well.
I'm so glad to hear he has a C session set up for next Wednesday. I hope he can feel safe enough to take that time to explore his feelings and learn how to express them.
