There and Back, #5

[SallyM]

thanks, all. mk, I like jennifer garner, at least from interviews I've read. I haven't watched any shows she's in, but she seems like a decent, down to earth person. what a lovely thing to say about her mom! I hope my kids take some good stuff from me. I know I did from my mom, even though we are so different in other ways.

S_O_T_S, thanks for that. trying not to lose sight of what is important. and no, I'm not spiraling into hopelessness...more like greatly afraid of hopefulness. scared of believing there might be a chance again. terrified of going thru the hurt if/when it all falls down around my ears again. that is one of the reasons I need to be careful about those blinders you talked about. I won't go there, but it hurts so because I already see myself reading more into what is going on than is really there.

I do appreciate you fixing my typo, btw. wish it was easy to say your words rather than my own.

as for health issues, I was the person who was at the gyn the week I found out about the affair for every test out there. trust me, my health is important to me. and honestly, for a variety of reasons, the only bc we have used in a long time is condoms. (he was supposed to go get snipped (his choice) but he hasn't yet).

enough about him. after I picked up S5 from school and fed the kids a quickie lunch, we headed off to the farm store and picked up some mums and mini pumpkins and some other stuff. my lunch, I'm mortified to say, consisted of an apple cider donut and part of a caramel apple. not exactly healthy today now am I? yikes. well, I suppose the caramel apple was at least mostly fruit. and it had peanuts on it, so some protein. hmmmm...lets see if I can rationalize the donut? okay, not so much. but it was all yummy and I also bought lots of good fruits and veggies so will make up for it the rest of the day.

off to finish decorating. oh, and I have the perfect example of cutting off my nose to spite my face. for every valentines day since we were back in the boston area, my h has sent me the most stunning roses from our favorite florist. they come in a gorgeous vase, very tall, trumpet shaped, stunning, unusual. I reuse these vases over and over for other arrangements throught the years. particularly for these really pretty fall stems I have (fake, but they look really pretty, from pottery barn). after the affair bomb dropped and I found out he had also sent her roses from the same florist, I took all 3 vases and threw them in the garbage...never wanted to see them again. and now I regret it...I have nothing that will fit the pb stems. arrggggghhh. yeah, I know I can go buy a new vase, but they were so pretty in that one. blech.