"when she wants something from me its all miss nicey nicey" - C'mon CVA - get your attitude out of the half empty side of the glass! She was calling you to make sure that you were still OK watching the kids even though her plans changed - that would be the perfect place for you to tell her that you appreciate her calling.
I totally get everything you are saying about how you feel that you need recognition/appreciation for the things that you are doing - but you have to remember that you are the one trying to win her back at this point so to speak...
