WOW. First, though it's a lot to digest, I am happy for you. In many ways you have given yourself closure and moved forward in life, but this is also what you deserved and needed. I am glad that H was strong and decent enough to give you that.
I loved speaking with you on Friday, and I wanted to say one thing that I thought of after we hung up. I loved hearing the tone of your voice change to a cute giddiness when we spoke of your current life and all the things you are involved with. Trust that happiness is within you, and I loved hearing it in the voice of a dear friend.
As for H, I can say this is the nicest thing he has done in years. In the midst of his misery, he comes out and is vulnerable to you, and places it all on the line. I suspect it feels cathartic for him, too. He's telling you the truth, Hope...take it.
I hope that you have follow-up conversations in months ahead. I hope it's the salve you need to continue the healing and the growing. I hope you can see this chapter in your life for what it was, that it had nothing to do with you. Like a dear friend of mine once said "I am so sorry...it's like you were in a really bad car wreck and you were driving just fine and it blindsided you...now you are getting up and walking away."
For the future...honey, do what you feel is right. You don't have to make any decisions now. Place it on hold until one path feels right. And, you certainly don't have to feel guilty....EVER. You made the very best of a tough situation, a very hurtful one. This is your road now, you have choices, and you see what is placed before you. No one would fault you for any decision you make.
Take some rest now, let it all sink in. You have a lot on your shoulders now. Be good to yourself and process.
But, most of all, remember that your future is bright. You led a life of sound decisions and integrity. And you will continue on that path.
