but the only person who can heal my child within is me. I can gain awareness through interactions with others but I'm the one who needs to "grow-up" bunny if I'm ever going to get the intimacy that I want rather than the compassion I might feel I need.
For you specifically, may this makes sense, but as a general statement I would say yes and no. IMO some people can work through growing up their "bunny." For others, no. I am thinking specifically about trauma survivors. Remember that book I once mentioned about "Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors," Susan Johnson says the success rate for rehabilitating post traumatic stress survivors in one-on-one settings is not too good. But when undergoing therapy with a partner, the success rate improves dramatically.
The book gives lots of reasons why, but taking the research into a marriage, the same concept applies. So maybe growing up your bunny with the help of a close partner could create a strong bond for you.
As for HD, I suspect his W will never be able to get to the point of being a truly strong woman. I think there is just too much in her past. But that may not matter if she can learn to trust HD to support her. That does not mean one person is rescuing the other, though it could.
A workable marriage does not HAVE to be completely healthy and functional, it just needs to be workable. This is the general idea I am pursuing in my M.
