Quote: first step is that he recognized he needs help and seeks it to move in that direction.
but it is not that he sees himself as not being capable of doing these things in a r...it is that he sees himself not able to do these things with ME..
he did want to spend time with ow. he did want to talk to her... he did want to do things with her...(he after all asked her out to lunch it wasn't just her) he did want to be physical with her..
he does remember wanting to do these things with me and for me..but now he does not..and it has been such a long time since he's wanted to that he just doesn't think "it's" there with me.
get what I'm saying??
it's not that he is incapable of having a r..having the desire to hug a woman..be physical with a woman...laugh..talk...do things..go places...share...etc...it is that he doesn't have the desire or feel like he can with me.
thing is he knows he loves me...will say so..he wants me to be happy...will always take care of me and the kids..but the ole question of whether or not he can be a participatory partner in a r with ME is what he questions.
I did ask him..is it that you feel you are not cappable of these things...or that you are not capable of them with me.
his answer...I'm sure you can figure by what I've just said.
the age old "I love you, I'm just not in love with you"
I can only hold on for so long waiting for someone to "get it" h knows and understands all the bits of ..r's take work..happiness is something you work at..bla bla bla...he knows all this stuff...but yet doesn't feel motivated to do the work. yes he will go to the c...to talk himself to the c maybe a couple of times and then MAYBE we can go together...he's hoping that the c will pick up on something..in his mannerisms or tone or something...as if the c will have an answer for him...
on good note..we did talk more last night...still didn't make me feel great but did feel closer to him for the fact that he was being open and honest even if I didn't like what I heard. today h didn't leave for work til after 10...met with us at bertucci's for lunch and then we all went to dd's doctor appointment..while on the way home..h called my cell to let me know or rather have me guess how much it cost him to park in the lot (50 cents) I thanked him for comming with us..his response, "you know how I feel about the kids appointments" I said " I know and I appreciate that you feel that way and so I'm thanking you" ... " no problem"
