Thanks all who have responded. COG: Greta to have you back in my head!
Here's a few things I've thought about:
1. COG, Being: I think you are right about my W. being sick. A close female friend I work with told me the same thing, saying no one behaves like her. NEVER, EVER saying she was at fault, never offering an olive branch, never showing a soft side, never forgiving. COG, you've read it all: the yelling at me on Christmas for falling asleep in the afternoon when she did the same thing, the hanging up on me for not finding my S8's hockey jersey, WHERE'S THE MICROGRATER!! (Go back and read the Xmas story)
2. I AM A GOOD GUY, WORTHY OF ALL THE THINGS A SANE WOMAN CAN PROBABLY OFFER. I'm loyal to a fault, principled, have 2 excellent jobs, love my kids to death...we are all human and have frailties...period.
3. You're right that I should have NO EXPECTATIONS. I don't have the DR book with me, so I need some kicks to the head to remind me. She did respond the other day, and actually wished me a Happy Birthday. (I always wanted to be in an exotic land for my birthday...be careful what you ask for!)
4. This experience will change me and has changed me in terms of how I'll view a lot of things when I get home. T2 and Hill always reminded me of that. I've had to get here since the war began in 03. That's waht Soldiers do when the nation is at war...they serve and volunteer to do so. I couldn't be more proud of what I'm doing or those I do it with. This has done so much to revive my self-esteem, which was SHOT as of last year. As you may recall, I tried to check out of the net with meds, and fortunately did not succeed. I lived for 4 months ina 1 room garage apartment, and held on to my kids as life preservers....not fair to them, but they were my island.
4. I look forward to hearing from you guys. I don't have a lot of time to write, but boy, do I love hearing from you guys. This forum has been better than my old $185/hour therapist since OCTOBER of last year. I love you guys like family, so stick with me.
