Re: the sex moratorium... I told her that one of the goals behind the moratorium was that, because I would be the one in control of us NOT having sex, rather than me always seeing her as being in control, it would take the resentment level way down. (Among other reasons supporting the moratorium, which I've noted before). In the context of the NG theory, getting rid of the behavior of trying to please her just to keep the possibility of her "availability" would, hopefully, help the relationship and would certainly help me. She agreed. She said that often she could see that the true motivation behind my actions was all about sex, and that it ended up turning her 'off', and definitely did not make her feel loved. I told her that I was sorry she felt that way by the situation, but reiterated that talking and long walks made me feel somewhat closer and more intimate and connected with her, but that sex with my wife was that special thing for me that meant we shared a connection.
There's a lot more to discuss, no doubt, but at least it was a start.
