Do not use the other woman as bait! Do not play any games with her. If you want to save your M, just do your best to show her that by giving her space, being as upbeat and pleasant as you can be in her presence & make sure to do the 180's and work on whatever it is that you need to work on to make yourself a better person - for yourself & your marriage.
I am not sure about you filing for seperation. Are your accounts not joint? I am referring to the fact that she said she doesn't have money to file? I am not sure if you filing is sending the right message. While I don't think you should/could refuse a seperation, I am not sure if you should be the one to file it if you don't want one. It sounds to me like she may not be 100% sure that is what she wants - so she thinks it will just be easier if you do it b/c that will make her feel better about it. Just a thought...
