Maybe you are listening for the words you want to hear and are missing what he is saying? He said he doesn't want to lose his family. That includes you. He doesn't want to lose you. Maybe he is so scared and hurt by your rejectiion that it is too risky for him to say that in a more straightforward manner.
Does he know what it will take, exactly, for you to put the breaks on things? read a book, go to C, stop all contact w/ other woman? What exactly would it take? Maybe he is at a loss...
I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. Maybe it is past the time of trying, only you know. But I thought his call expressed that he was distraught over losing you, even if he didn't use the words you want to hear.
Whatever happens, take care of yourself and give yourself time. You are right about all your positive qualities, except for maybe that you are too modest.
