vacation is over, I am leaving

[limbo]

Well 5 days away from the retro weekend...and I will be suprised if we make it.

I almost blew it on the weekend, H has just not had alot of intrest in me since we came back from holidays. It got to me and basically I said to him that he doesn't desire me anymore.
He got mad, said why would I think that? I said well I don't know, maybe because you don't touch me, and you keep going back to ow.
So he then said there is no point if I think that, and there is definately no point going to the weekend.
So I left it at that, later that night he apologized to me and said that we would still be going.
Why do I keep doing these things, maybe I just don't want this marriage, or maybe I am just trying to stop myself getting hurt again, who knows!