PS I have been thinking a lot about you, and prayng for your sitch. I think your H is in denial [not in the 6 stages sense]. He simply doesn't appear to realise that if you say you are going to spend teh night in a hotel, and then spend it elsewhere, and you are found out, that being asked to explain is perfectly reasonable. By turning you into the accuser he is exhbiting classic passive agressive behaviou, that then, in his mind, helps to justify the unjustifiable.
Personally I would have written a shorter letter, and focused more on how you feel, and less on what he is doing, but it is always difficult to know what works for other people.
But you are right, we cannot fix these broken people. Recent posts from Hope and others show just how broken they are.
