It was a day which reminded me very much of the bad times during the past 3 years. I said good morning to W, she was still furious with me, and demanded an apology.

This I was willing to give (but didn't) W wanted to draw me into accepting she was right, and I was wrong, without listening to my concerns or point of view.

So anyway I worked finishing the sundeck, getting D her birthday gift certificate along the way for supplies.
Older son helped me do the deck, which was cool.

I decided since the budget is tight, to make dinner instead of going out, and invited grandma and nephew over along with our 2 boys and my older son's GF.

So I made everything, and when it was all done, everyone was here, W refused to come out of our bedroom, and have dinner.

(I kind of knew this would happen, so part of the reason in having the dinner at home was making it nearly impossible for W to not participate)

I tried to encourage her, she wanted to get into a lengthy discussion about last night, but everyone was here, so I said I'd be happy to have a discussion afterwards. I didn't want to say that I was sorry on her terms, as I knew she would not engage in any non-argumentitive talks on the subject.

I refuse to be drawn into an emotional yelling argument, like she wanted last night.

Her comment was "Are you afraid that you will look bad?!" sarcastically, referring to her pouting in the bedroom.

So... she did not come out for the birthday party. I feel sad for my daughter, as the relationship between them was mending (I feel) This is a huge step back, and also has had an impact on the others there.

When someone asked where mom was, I just said we were having a spat.

I refuse to be drawn into nasty conflicts, W does not realize how much this underlines bad feelings in myself, and the children.

So sad for her tonight, a huge step back in her relationship with the kids, so sad.

I look back to try and see if there was something different I could have done to not let this happen, maybe there are some things, which might have helped, I don't know, she's a tough gal to get past her defenses and front. She won't listen if she does not agree with the opinion.

So... who knows what our first couples counselling will bring this week, wish us luck.