It has been so long since I posted to you. I have thought about you often, especially considering the situation with my H, the OW, and their baby. You were close to being there once, unfortunately in my case, the baby did end up being real.
I think it is wonderful that your H opened up to you the way he did. My H has been on the brink of that a couple of times. Last spring when my H first found out about the possibility of the pregnancy, he and I had an amazing conversation about what went wrong. Once, before the baby, he even told me not to ask him how or why, but he just felt in his heart that the two of us would be together again someday. I don't know if he really believed that, but I think it's what he told himself to make himself feel better. Of course now that there is a baby involved, I don't think either of us see any kind of a future together. That's probably for the best, it's easier to think about moving forward knowing there is no moving back.
I think during the DB process we make so many "deals" with ourselves, and compromise what we are willing to do to save our marriages, that we think we can work through anything. You are in a similar position as me, in that you are seeing clearly that the sacrifices you would make to be with him again, are sacrifices you are no longer willing to make. That sets us free in so many ways.
Take care hope, I know things will keep getting better, and better for you. Give puppy and kitty a big kiss and hug for me.
