YES!!! If the kids weren't in the picture, I would have at least totally moved out into a full blown separation. I don't want this for my kids either, not one bit. And deep down, past my anger and betrayal, I still love and want my H.
I am the same way. I have really learned from my mistakes and want to prove it to her but she is so caught up with the OM that she will not give me the benefit of the doubt...I am really beginning to wonder what I should do...
Me=29 WAW=25 S=2 "I need a break" = 6/07 Filed = 12/07
Seems as if contact with OM has ceased, for the most part. Only now she is telling me to go sleep with another woman, she does not care...I can not believe what is coming out of her head right now.
Me=29 WAW=25 S=2 "I need a break" = 6/07 Filed = 12/07
Yup, H is wrapped up with OW here too. Seems they tried to end it 2 weeks ago and he caved and called her this week to see how she was doing. Funny, he hasn't asked how I was in months. I am at a loss of what to do next as well.
She cares. Trust me, she cares if you would even kiss another woman. That is just her protecting herself.
It seems as if she is trying to get me to do things to validate what she is doing... I am sure they are still texting but phone contact has been minimal. No end in sight though, taking one day at a time...
Me=29 WAW=25 S=2 "I need a break" = 6/07 Filed = 12/07
***She cares. Trust me, she cares if you would even kiss another woman. That is just her protecting herself.***
She might NOT care...I know my H didn't when he was in the midst of everything...I had a mild EA during his absence from our family and he knew of it...I didn't hide it from him and even accepted a phone call while he was in the car with me once...didn't phase him a bit because at THAT particular time he really didn't care...
Now that isn't to say that down the road she might not care...you see when the blinders come off...and they usually do...she will see things more clearly and realize what is going on her own life...then...she will care...and if your still standing this will show her that you really did have unconditional love for her...if you got involved with someone it will justify to her that what you both had was nothing more then a nice time for a few years...and she will move on...at minimum anyone in your life could be hurt....you or her could be hurt...anytime there is a 3rd person involved...SOMEONE is going to be hurt...
So unless and until you are totally done...KNOW with out a doubt you are finished...that there is NO chance in recovering any feelings...you don't involve another person in your life...it isn't fair...and it won't help your cause at all...
I know, I am trying to live the life I want right now. She keeps pressuring me to go out and "live my life". In retrospect, I have lived life and know what I want...I am just trying to be a good father to my S and take it one day at a time.
Me=29 WAW=25 S=2 "I need a break" = 6/07 Filed = 12/07
I am trying to "go dark" right now. i have been trying other things with minimal returns and it hit me that this would be the best course of action.
My W has always stated that she wants to "live" life. Now, I am going to sit back and enjoy the time I can have with my son and let her figure things out.
I have done a ton more things than she has ever done so living my life is consistingof my son and friends.
Tonight she went to go "console" a friend whose family moved 3,000 miles away. her friend was extremely close to her family and the move hit her hard. She wanted to know what i thought about her going to spend time with her. I acted "as if" I did not care. She wanted to go so I encouraged her too. As she left she gave me a kiss goodbye. She did happen to leave her rings behind but once she realized it called to apologize.
I am trying something new. I want this to work for my son and myself but we will see where this takes us...
Me=29 WAW=25 S=2 "I need a break" = 6/07 Filed = 12/07
