MC - nervous and need advice

[forward]

Well, after speaking w/DB counselor, she suggested a mediator at this time. I found myself irked over practical issues such as him doing OW's laundry here, getting paint on rug after we had it cleaned, concern w/D1.5's safety around untreated bipolar OW on manic high, concern w/possible financial entanglements w/OW (such as her driving car/I hold bill or he rings up debts that I get stuck paying), and general respect (I don't want OW in house, though I'm not sure if she has been). And also his failure to recognize what CS really needs to be & typically is. He's paying maybe a quarter of what he would have to and I want him to understand that I am being NICE to him.

But the bottom line I want to communicate is that just because I make more money does NOT mean that H gets to be less responsible.

So I looked around to find a counselor/mediator. H seemed to want to go and asked me about it a little, but also seems somewhat indifferent.

My specific concerns are:

-Raising topic of D1.5's safety around OW.
-Destroying the baby steps H has taken.
-Not sure how much of an ultimatum to make this into.
-Fact is, I myself am seriously questioning whether I WANT H back. Yet I have a bit of hope. Do I let this be known? How?

Fact is, I want a LS now. It would a) help me feel more detached and help me continue to GAL b) start showing that I am not going to be a pushover and c) if things wind up as D, I have had the time to prepare for it.

Also, I have some serious questions on whether I would want H back as it is. H is not just MLC--he is an MLC who was out w/OW when I was pregnant and who didn't even want to take off a day of work when D1.5 was born. He continues to treat me and D1.5 as annoyances (not as bad as he WAS, but still).

I am also thinking about H's ability to change and having real doubts. As I said, I see some baby steps but I don't think he is ready to face up to his role in this situation. I feel like I am rushing an MLCer.

On the other hand, he has seen a counselor in the past and actually seemed into the idea of doing something now.

I may have a DB session prior to the MC; I am not sure, but I will try.