CVA I can't remember all the details of your sitch - sorry. The affirmation thing was massive for me. Please note that in the following I am not trying to sound big-headed nor am I boasting.
(My friend: I arrived back from war and WAW was in Spain!)
Affirmation: to state positively!
If you are an Alpha Male (A man who holds strong influence over the activities of a group and to whom others defer.) then none of this will be a surprise. Alpha Males reign, and expect recognition.
In my case recognition of some (substantial and difficult) achievements resulted in "Well, I wouldn't expect anything else of you Steve".
So, it makes the whole 180 thing a little more difficult for the Alpha male. Doing a 180 suggests doing something different that would surprise your (ex) partner. For the alpha male this is impossible. When the relationship started the alpha male was dominant and, indeed, did '180's' of his own accord - not requiring permission or succeding to demand. Therefore the female could 'only' expect a huge level of perfection from her partner - DESPITE what he did - and certainly no affirmation required - BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER NEEDED BEFORE! Whatever the male was doing he was doing well - this could be family, hobby, friends etc etc.
