Now I've done it

[nephartiti]

I feel like an addict going through withdrawals. Its been 3days now. I don't expect him to call on a weekend. Maybe tomorrow while she is at work.

This no contact is definitely out of my comfort zone. I better get used to it though, because I'm beginning to think I may not have a chance at fixing this.

This is my reasoning. He has know OW for 3 years now, me 5. Not much difference, right? Yes, I have his kids. Maybe he really is in love with her. Maybe she is the better person--a fellow teacher that shares all of his passions. I thought I did too, but he has said I didn't.

When we got together, he was living with someone. He said they had broken up and he was sleeping on the couch. Now I wonder if she knew this. He would tell me she would question him and get upset about him coming to see me (This is when he used to call me 20 times a day. Well, not quite). Am I on the other receiving end? Is this what he told OW? Is this just a pattern? I don't think he tried to hide me then. He would say how unhappy he was, how she had issues and didn't respect him. Sounds familiar. His mother had just died of cancer.

MKultra has a very similar situation. She's been dealing with this for months with no improvement, and she's been handling it so much better than I, as far as DBing goes.

Guess I'm just feeling crappy today. Don't know what happened to the life coursing through my veins from yesterday.

I'm going on an outing to try to get out of this funk. Maybe I'll dye my hair.