Hope - Your post was long but incredibly well structured, and easy to follow. I think it is like a rollercoaster ride they have to get on and ride out. I get the sense of my h being 'out of control' and driven. He wants to act one way, but is driven to act another.
It is such a mess. But, at least you can talk honestly to each other, which is something you just can't do in the earlier stages.
It does sound like a textbook: all the things we are told are happening seem set out. What we only dimly realise is the DAMAGE.
Angelica
Yes, the damage is tremendous. I have been facing it for 2 years; my H is only now seeing it with clear vision and it's blinding him. He doesn't even know where to start.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
