The View From the Bottom

[job]

Hope,
Your h did give you his blessings, however, I sensed from what you posted that he would understand your moving on it that is what you so desire to do. On the other hand, I sensed that he's trying to find himself and repair the damage to himself right now. Fortunately, he's admitted that he's not capable to have a relationship w/anyone at this time. He knows and is very much aware of the damage that he's created and he's owned up to it thus far.

Hope, I'm going to be honest w/you, the relationship you had w/your h prior the crisis is completely over, but that doesn't mean that you can't rebuild some type of relationship later on down the road. It won't be the same, but you just don't know, it could be better or it could be what it is right now. Cut yourself some slack. You've been at this a long time and it's time now to try to find some inner peace for yourself. If your h truly wants to reconcile w/you at some later date, that's when you will need to be making some very hard decisions. If you feel that you can't do this any longer, then move on, know that you did the best you can and continue on w/a divorce.

The hardest part of his journey is facing him at this time. It's going to be one of true self awareness and when he's completed that part of his journey, he's going to come to you and talk some more. That will be the time to decide if he's grown up, the man in front of you is better or if you feel too much has happened or too long in the process.

I feel for you. It's not been an easy road for you, but yet, you remained a classy lady throughout this journey. Your h doesn't realize what a true jewel you are. I do hope that some day he will recognize what he may have lost.