Dear Hope, This is exactly what my therapist said was happening to these people. He also told me that they have pockets of reality.
I can see that they have to heal fully, and recognise what they have done. It also echoes things that RCR has said about them resisting hitting bottom.
What an eloquent and honest post: it is so rare to get an insight into the mind of a MLCer. We get glimpses from people who have emerged and are working on the r, but to get such an honest glimpse into the confusion is both enlightening and painful. I can only imagine how you must be feeling.
