The great thing about being on this forum is reading about whats happening with other people and seeing how predictable the WAS can be.
Hi Dave,
Yes, because of the predictable element, I decided to go with some of the suggestions made in Homer's book, in addition to the DB skills taken from other sources like Michele's books.
I let H ask me 5 more times to spend my B-Day together before accepting, and letting him know that I had to untangle my engagement for that evening to go with him. He kept trying to get more information on what I was doing, feeling etc., so I eventually let him know, in a friendly, upbeat way, that things didn't look good for us, we can go to dinner as friends though & have a nice time anyway. He seemed stunned to hear "be friends".
The next 3x's he came to p/u S4 for dinner & invited me, I declined & was ready to leave the house as soon as he arrived to head out for my own dinner plans.
The birthday date was excellent. We had such a good time, all the while agreeing, validating, easy going & fun, adding indifferent to the mix. He picked an ocean view restaurant & a perfect table to admire the view. He had to drive all the way over to make the reservations the previous day, so had to work a little to plan the evening.
We ended up at a "pub" sort of place later that night, where we met 3 English guys that we shared a table with & had some good laughs all around.
When we arrived back at the house, we peeked in on S4 sleeping, I thanked him for the wonderful time & started walking towards the door. We stopped at the porch, he closed the door & just as I was getting the first "real" kisses in 4 months, S15 opens the door & wants to know "what we're doing" & just stands there He says again what a nice time he had & almost skips away.
The next night was his sleepover to be w/S4, but I was "out" for the evening & didn't see him, as he was asleep when I came home. He had asked me out for dinner with them & seemed disappointed I already had plans.
After a day taking the kids to a BBQ at a friends ranch, H tried to get me pinned down on when I would be home so he could drop off the kids. I know he's still "dating" OW & yesterday is usually their Sat. night dinner date, so he would have to be out of here at about 6pm in order to get back & ready. I suggested that he could just drop them off & leave, as S15 babysits anyway. He didn't like that suggestion & was waiting for me when I arrived home (friendly but indifferent). Tells me again what a great weekend it was & wants to know if I'd be interested in doing something like that again sometime.
This is kinda fun, like dating for the first time. I have a feeling the less available I am, the better the date will be.
He did make a point of telling me before he left that he wasn't even hungry & would prolly be asleep by 9pm. Hmmm, don't know & don't care. It would have to be a pretty awesome date to beat the one we had.
So, I guess it serves one well to really listen when you're told; don't pursue, pressure, chase, act needy, etc.
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I chuckled at this it seem the the WAS can do what they want but as soon as we change something they panic. They seem to want to test thier new life but if we change its amplified.
