I had for a while questioned whether I wanted to know more about my W's A with the OM -- whether it had gone PA or not. I still wonder, but it does me no good. I know enough already, and I understand that for a woman an EA is just as threatening to the marriage as a PA. Either way, it is not good for the M.
My heart goes out to you in that you now have solid confirmation of your H's betrayal. And definitely TMI at that.
The thing with the kids though -- that one is particularly painful. I know. I found out the OM had visited my house while I was at work back in June. He was introduced to my S's and the MIL. He fauned all over the boys and was so syrupy around the MIL, showing so much interest in her needle-point work. I wouldn't know about it except the MIL bragged about how he glowed over her handiwork (as if I had never done so in the past. Familiarity breeds contempt, I guess.)
The W blew it off as OM simply coming by to give advice about our kitchen (which I am slated to repaint this Fall.) I see it as sizing him up with the family as my replacement. And mind you, here's the kicker -- if he's been such a good friend to W all these years, why have I never met him in person? I've met all her female co-workers over the years, but why was I never formally introduced to the sole male RN in their organization? And yet he gets invited into my home, when I am not there?!
Yeah, I've got quite a few anger and trust issues to sort out. I know. I've got to detach. I've got to detach. I've got to detach...
