Admitting your shortcomings is the first step. So good. You are on your way. You have been going through this stuff for 4 years. It is grating on you. Understandable. No matter what you decide, you just have to turn him off.
So you have made the first step. Now get off the merry-go-round. The biggest problem I see is that you want his ramblings to mean something and they do and they don't. But it is all about the effect on you.
