Thanks for the last post, sorry it's taken me 2 months to reply!!!!
Baby is doing really good - little boy, well, not so little now, i can't believe he's almost 10 months old already! I think of him as my little miracle boy as i'm sure that if i wasn't pregnant during the separation nightmare then i would probably be a chain smoking alcoholic by now!! Also, the time H spent trying to help out when baby was born allowed him to see just how much i had changed.
Generally things are going well, H tells me he loves me and that the feelings he had for ow were mainly pity (as apparently she's had a hard life)!!! Haven't we all!!!!!
I still have a problem with H being away from home so much. 've tried talking to him about it but with no sucess so far. I get miserable about the fact that we only seem to get the odd day together from time to time and always with the kids. I've told him i want to be a wife and not just a mother and i need to feel like a woman again. he says to arrange something as a couple and we'll do it, but the trouble is he's never free at the same time as the babysitters. He also says that he doesn't feel wanted because when he is around i'm miserable. This is tru some of the time because when we only have one day together i feel under pressure for the day to be perfect and it quite often goes wrong. So we seem to be in a visious circle - he's always away, and is often tired and unloving when he's here which leads to me being miserable and therefore, not feeling very loving toward him!
How do we break this cycle - i try to "act as if" and appear happy with how things are going but i do feel resentful that he has the whole package.. family, social life etc. I have arranged things to do with my friends and we do spend some family time together but i really need a husband aswel as a father to my children. I also worry that our SL is virtually non-existant. I try to give subtle hints that "i'm in the mood" but maybe they are too subtle!!! why doesn't he want to, maybe he's getting it some place else!!!
Sorry for rambling and maybe going into too much detail! How about you, you ok?
