Recipe for a Perfect Marriage

[haphazard]

I hate getting the feeling that men are attracted to me when I am weak yet I like being pinned down. What's up with that?

I think that's pretty normal. I also hate the feeling men are attracted to me when I'm weak because I'm not generally a weak person, so they would be misreading me if they thought I was weak.

I also know that people who are attracted to weak people are generally covering up for some weakness of their own. Kindred spirit and all that.

But it is nice to be pinned down from time to time. I think it's just a me Tarzan you Jane thing. Basically "get a load of me baby, I'm a MAN" which can be fun sometimes.

I were feeling really confident about my arousability and orgasmic potential, I could just "let" the man take responsibility for my arousal/orgasm

Yes. Because you don't have any doubts that he won't get you off, because you know how arousable/orgasmic you are and because by now you can ride no hands (even round corners )

NG was delighted that I made him tarts but it was very hard for me to do it because I view the "cow" part of my personality as very sexually unattractive now.

I think you are afraid to let the cow out these days because in your M the cow was the only one in the menagerie having a relationship. Because that R sucked you don't trust the cow. There is basically nothing wrong with making tarts for someone if that is what you feel like doing. But your H was keen to make sure you kept the rest of the animals in their cages and just made tarts for him whenever he wanted them and he got to tell you whether you'd made them "with love" or not. BLECH! The cow has been milked dry. So the other animals have to be let out to play now, while the cow just munches on some nice sweet grass.

If a guy was good at say playing guitar and he picked up his guitar and sang you a song, you'd be happy and he would too. That's all you did, you just gifted NG with one of your talents. It's fine. Expectations again, it goes wrong when you start making tarts to cheer him up, or ingratiate yourself, or in the hopes you'll get sex. It doesn't have to be the cow making the tarts. It can just be Jenny.

Fran