Now I've done it

[nephartiti]

[quote=nephartiti]

I do not know if this is battered wife syndrome or unconditional love either. I also get cheers and jeers but lately, even pro marriage people are giving me some signals that he is just not worth it. My aunt had to send away her drug addicted son after enabling him. he died homeless of a heroin OD a few weeks later. She is advising me to do the same with my H, let him go and move on, that he is lost to our world and he is never coming back. It is really hard to see the self destructon of someone you love in such a short time. I think your H made a mistake and is now reacting to the guilt and does not see how to get back to his life so he is just digging a deeper hole. He is not happy or having fun. Our H's are being destructive.

Yes, it is so heartbreaking because you know and hold on to the person you know he is/was inside. I feel like the core of my husband is still there, buried under layers of anger, hurt, and illusion. I too believe he is not happy out there. He actually admits this. I believe the mess is so big, he can't even fathom starting to clean it up. Instead, he's walking away to try to start over.

At first, my family was supportive. Yesterday, my SIL said that if he were to come back, they would not go to any family functions if he is there. It is going to be hard for everyone if we reconcile. Everyone has already written him off.

I'm still waiting because I know we had 5 wonderful (by no means perfect, but solid) years. If I weigh that next to the last 3 1/2 months, there is still more good than bad. If I think about my children, whom I know he loves dearly despite his abandonment, I want them to have the opportunity to grow up with their father.

How long will I wait? That I don't know. I have committed to myself that I will hold tight til the end of the year and then re-evaluate my situation. Of course, life has changed so completely in the last few months that I realize anything can happen now (good or bad).