When to move back in together?

[cat03]

don't know your whole story, but for what is worth. There are a number of sucessful people here who's S still has some minimal to almost no contact with the A partner.

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Of course I feel disrespected and unloved
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yes hon, the wounds are very fresh and it will hurt for a long while, before the dreaded op came to my H recently, he had actually been saying ILY (took 6mts for that). It takes time.

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He has hurt them all deeply and they are very concerned about him manipulating and lying to me all over again
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You dont' have to answer for him, a simple "he's not ready to talk yet" should be enough. Eventually, when the craziness wears off, he will have to face them all, it's on him, not on you, he has to do it. As family, they are too close to the sitch and might put doubts in your brain. It's so easy to say "just dump him, he lied to you", but they aren't in your shoes, so take all they say to you with a grain of salt.

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I am still deeply hurt by my mom's words. I am so, so scared she is right. It also pains me that here is another way I have to pay for this stupid affair: my family never accepting him back. I will suffer with that for years!:(
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My cousin had her H cheat on her, racked up a huge debt, wanted to divorce her and she still took him back. Her mom told her that if she took him back she'd never speak to her again, everyone (including me at the time, about 5yrs ago) thought she was so stupid by taking that cheat and liar back. We hated his guts and for the longest time he wouldnt' show up to family events (that is a big reason why only this cousin and my sister knew about my H leaving, they don't know about the 2 As though).
I'm sure she was aware we were all against him. But do you know what she did? whenever they were together she was her loving sweet self, would hug him, treat him nice and be all natural. And I thought to myself "well, if it's alright to her, then heck, it should be alright to me too" and as time went by we all admited him back to the family. She taught us how to treat him, and in the end it paid off. I barely give it a second thought now whenever I see him.
Has your mom been in your shoes? if not, she will never understand, that's why she is so unforgiving.

What helped me to be less judgemental about my H's deception was my bible study this week, about David and Bathsheba. If a chosen-by-God king could have been tempted to kill a woman's husband to cover his adultery even though he already had 6 wives and the right to pick ANYone else, then NO one is free from falling. Also thought me that God can forgive the unforgivable.