I have read your threads for a while now. As horrible as Puff is to you, I have thought all along that it must make things easier in a way. I am in no way insinuating that this is in any way easy for you...oh, no...not at all. I hate that he does/says the things that he does. It sure must make it easier to detach though. How do I detach from the guy who compliments me more now than he ever has?
IMO, the guys like Puff are more likely to come back (or at least want to) in the end. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. That Puff has all that anger stored up tells me that he loves you (and dislikes himself) very much. I don't get that vibe from my H. Mine is more a case of He thinks he doesn't love me anymore and he is afraid to try.
Our main problem is that we rarely discuss anyhing. I will tell him how I feel about something (example: "When you come seek me out in the house all of the time, it gives me the impression that you want more from me than what we now have), he will quickly say, "I won't do that anymore." To me, I have just started a discussion. Haven't I? He looks at me like I am insane when I say that (that I am trying to have a discussion). I think that I just don't understand how to communicate my feelings. He says that I don't, yet he never really gives me any suggestions on how to improve. I have pointed out that a C could help us with this, but he seems to think that the ability is just there or it isn't. I really want to do better, and I just don't understand what I am doing wrong.
AHA! I just had a lightbulb moment. I think that I try not to talk about this stuff because I know that analyzing it is a waste of time. I am not, however, analyzing it in the newbie way (as in, "he said this, so does it mean that he still loves me?"), but instead in a way to try to understand how it is that I keep screwing up the communication. I know what we are doing is not working, but I have no idea how to fix/change it.
